confusion time....

Its been a pattern for me.....my college life has to be happening one way or the other.Thought this was over in the engg days, but no! I have to get into some controversy or the other every few weeks. This time it makes me think, why on earth when I do what all other normal people do, its always my case which people find exemplary. Why is it that I find my selves in a sea of questions! Why do I have to answer each and every thing I do...why do I have to think twice before even the most normal of decisions. Why are so many eyes on what I do when they have nothing but gossip to feed upon. This has been probably the nth time this is happening and this time I am really pissed off with the happenings. Nothing has been going right any where, personally or professionally.. Probably its high time I introspected and came up with a strong plan. When every time I make myself believe that I would not listen to anyone anywhere and would not react to it, why am I falling weak now. Why am I faltering in my people handling and my relationship maintainability skills. Why do I feel myself running away from every instance which needs taking decision......I really need to test life on skills now before its too late.

Random thoughts...NO WAY..!!!

An MBA was what I wanted to do to actually step up my chances of getting a good fat paycheck or rather putting it in a different perspective; to end up with some glam title as my designation in the organisation or frankly admitting because Tech wasn't where I wanted to end up being...You can have any of these as your reasons.Come on ...now I am not falling to the routine interview answers of I wanted to do an MBA because I wanted to learn the nuisances of business blah blah. NOBODY does an MBA for that.Yeah..u were stuck up without promotions in your previous job can be accepted as a valid reason. (This one added to the list only after realising the plight of the people who crib all the tym in the office )

The one thing that struck me as I was a few months into my MBA was that work ex ppl DO seem to have some edge although I have been denying that in all my interviews/discussions during prep days.So I thought while working with them in projects and assignments and listening to how they sound very valid when putting across their views in a class discussion,I also realized my naivety on professional world during the same course. So what  happened as a result was that I looked forward to my summer internship as a chance to see the WORLD through my own eyes and have the experience of working albeit for a small span of time. I wont deny that I expected to learn a lot in these days while I do realise that its too early to comment that I didn't. :)

Cutting a long story short, I came to this highly reputed company and learn quite a lot. Some of the noteworthy things that I learnt:

1. Well this one deserves a first place coz my guide said " Corporate Life Lesson 1: Those who have no work at all in the office attend meetings to look busy."
2. Office gossip and planning the next months party/annual outbound trip is the most important thing to do in an office even if you are running super late on your schedule for your targets to be achieved.
3. Your motto to come to the office might be to start with a coffee, then start shouting for lunch after that, having the post lunch coffee and then looking at the watch to rush back home as soon as it hits 5.
4. FB is the survival strategy for all those who hate their work at the office.
5. Interns are guinea pigs on which you can try any damn thought of yours.
6. The best way to shoo away any over enthusiast internee is to send them on a market visit. Worse than that, give them a stupid excel sheet to make.
7. Even if the guide spares out some time for their protege , it is to discuss how great learning experience their own summers was.
8. Talking to a lot of experienced people made me realise that its only how effectively you can show that you are busy that matters rather than what you actually work.
9. Summers are nothing but disguised holidays or sponsored travels and tours for most of the tortured souls in an MBA college
10. Most of the people cribbing about their interns have to be freshers coz the work ex people already knew what was coming their way and saying in their hearts," Now you know why we left our fat paying checks to resume college life and slog in those mostly boring classes....  :D "

PS- I guess it all depends on perspective on which you took ur MBA, so the views can definitely differ from one individual to another. :)

Me...me...me again...!!! ;)

Dont know what to write here today...a lot going on in the mind...the new city...the new work experience...the awesome journey....naxalism....and the unwanted thread that connects it so closely to my life...!!!

But wat instigated me to write here was something entirely different than the above and quite in line with the past posts that's me.....  :)

I always harped on my interpersonal skills and how I could manage in any settings.Well, as far as I am considered I still believe the same. But what surprises me is the comment I gt today from one of the well wishers which said that I was quite a non mingler.!!!! 

Now all those who knw me from Lko will be surprised with this fact....or will they be not. Why for the sake for being the networked person should I go on making or atleast claiming to be a friend of most of the crowd when my personality doesnt even remotely gels with them. Is it for the sake of being well connected and gaining the tag of being friendly, I should go on with the mask of the person I am not !! I am what I am...and I know how to be friends with the people who I consider my friend,so why should I not do that and preserve and make stronger the relations which actually mean something to me.

In fact I actually despise the good-on-your-face people which do nothing but fool the people around them into them being Miss or Mr. Goody 2 shoes. What difference does it make to be nice when people already know what you really are.People say something on your face and something else behind your back,and then you say that you are well connected. Its gud to make relations which last some time rather than being "raat gayi baat gayi"

Don't know whether I am politically correct or not but then this is what has been doing good for me ab tak....so lets hope it continues in the future as well. :)

Reporting Live...!!

Well well well....one mail CAN create a storm !

Even Dr.Nag wouldn't know how his mail that spoke about a certain mechanism of hostel settings next year can deviate people who were neck deep under the burden of projects to leave everything and speak their mind out. It must be about 3 when the above mentioned mail arrived and voila! one must have seen the stir it created.One could actually see the mahila mukti morchas being formed, the future operations manager finding out the ways of optimum allocation of resources and then giving up,the resentment in the behenlogs about the unfair setting, the yet not so visible unity in the ladies of 2009-11 batch being so prominent all of a sudden.What happened next was that the IMF-the official student body sprung into immediately into action with El Presidente assuring the girls of fair representation and that their voices would not remain unheard and that he will personally look into the matter.

Meanwhile the girls gathered around certain common rooms to discuss how unfair it has been that on a woman's day they have to face such discrimination. ( Suddenly everyone lost track of the 5 O'clock deadline for certain projects ;) ) Well after a long and well discussed meeting within themselves and then later with the warden IMF president rested his confidence in the ladies that the ladies are capable enough to handle it without the IMF's intervention.Well the next few minutes saw the formation of a group of representatives being formed jo ki jaake naag ke gale me ghanti baandhe. In short who goes and submits the petition to Dr.Naag. 

What happened later was the usual sarkari reassurance hymn being sung by the warden that he would be putting forward the signed application with the higher authority and although he empathizes with us he cant find a better solution to this problem.He himself wants the best for the female students but then he couldn't assure them of anything.

Meanwhile the batch also saw the use of Google tools for the peaceful show of resentment. The general emotion between the public is mixed. While the girls were seen generally expressing their anger in groups the guys came up with mixed emotions. Despite the contrary belief the majority of guys were seen to be liking the fact as now they can have their own ways once in the all-boys hostel.The important thing to note will be however that how the things take turn in the upcoming days. Will the administration give in to the demands by the gals or will the gals be sharing  their next or rather the last year of their MBA with the junior batch or their own batchmates !!!!

PS- Yours truly was very much a part of the action mentioned above.It was only later that she found uncanny similarities between the situation here and that in political halls of India when the report was written.

There are some days which should pass too soon..!

There are some times when things are going tremendously wrong. You see no silver lining and the dense clouds of gloominess shroud over the seemingly distant happiness.This is the time when you try to blame everything and everyone around you. Every small pinch affects you like a dagger.Every friendly nok-jhok seems like the biggest fight you have had ever.You promise yourselves not to be fooled by the world anymore but then you end up in the same situation again and again.But there are the post-facto analysis when you sit back and imagine and re-visit those days only to realise that you ignorantly did some really stupid stuff which is not reversible anymore.

And there evolves another guilt which is even worse than the preface.

But were the relationships so fragile that they would suffer such an impact of the notional bad moods.Were the happy days so limited in number that they were finished even before we could actually capitalize on them.Are we so un sensitized by the issues that we would rather finish with the fight rather than sorting it out.Hope the prayers are answered and the days which are gloomy pass too soon.The Time probably is the only healer in absence of initiation.

MBA....!!!

This comes up as being the veterans of the MBA marathon of written and GD/PI, the consultation phase was in swing of late.One of my juniors was recently discussing the answers to the perennial question " Why do you want to do MBA? " and I was taken back to the time when I planned to go through these gruelling sessions of GD/PI preps and the other written tests and mocks, of missing my engineering classes and sitting overnight reading stuff about the recent happenings in the world.The sole objective of going through these tortures ;) was to get out of the technical domain which didn't get me that excited.Also another reason for the MBA being my destination was the belief that this will add knowledge to my kitty and probably make me more suitable for starting my job in one of those dream companies where I would be valued... ;) :D

Now as it has almost been an year when I went through all these phases and got through one of the good colleges in the country.It was a happening start and even more happening phase after that...with some highs and a few lows. Met some of the very nice people I had ever met. Learnt a lot from the peers and others around.But as I sit back and realize how much did I learn and add value to myself in the last 8 months.Academically and otherwise.Did I actually gain sthing or just it was an extended college life with all the fun reloaded even more. What was the aim when I entered...how much have I transformed...have I made use of all my potential....what leaves me so laid back here....what makes me so not enthusiastic about the events around here....a lot needs to be answered....will I get the answers..???

The guide to my introspection mood..!

It has been my favorite activity for the last many years to sit back every fortnight or so and look back at the time...to contemplate over what went right or what went wrong; what was the high point and how could i get over my blues. Sometimes my blues would also coax me into the aforementioned stage. But one thing I realized recently more often than not I end up thinking about trivial things the whole night.The thing that might be a trifle for someone else or which might not even make an appearance in the consideration set of most of the normal homo sapiens would make me go haywire for hours and hours together.

Symptoms:a glum face with a lost look, a general hmm or ok on the chat for anything and everything, an annoyance for every thing big or small or even worse indifference towards such things.

Duration: can be anything, from 1 hour to days at a stretch it depends on the severity of the results and the   environment around.

Catalyst: Guilt is the most effective catalyst taking the reaction rate manifolds.

Prescription: Let me be alone....dont bother me with the intermittent "kya hua". I know you care for me, but I assure you I would get better soon widout being bugged. If you must just make sure that you do nothing to add to my anguish.

Post Introspection Phase: Generally this kind of phase leads me to a few days of sincerity and implementations of  the key learning, and zillion self promises regarding the future plan of action, 

BUT then as all MBA's will agree the learnings are the first thing we forget and get back to the normal phase waiting for another set of introspection days.