How I caught the Bug...

I was reading this blog posted by one of my friends a few days back and the blog about her childhood days reminded me of my own and that is where this post originates from. I have a paper one hour from now and still I am too tempted to type all this down :) When did I ever say that I was a studyholic...( I wonder if there's a word like that) ;) This is a Holiday special and hence a break from the regular serious stuff that I call my own philo.
There have been numerous occasions when sitting in a group of peers, people dwell back into their tiny-tot days and cite of incidences that range from the craziness about their favourite toy that they had or the silly games that they played with their friends from the locality. How they used to fight with the elder sibling or the long holidays at the granny's place with the bunch of cousin's around and discussing all the stupid thoughts gathered over the year. These talks always put me in a retro mood and then I think that how unconventional my childhood was...
Lets say that I was pampered in a different way being the eldest kid in my generation in my family. My grandparents and my parents and my uncles and aunts and the neighbours and the maid and every possible soul who was elder to me tried to contribute in my childhood...everyone wanted to put in their best effort to make me in "the best baccha in town". ( Before u have any misunderstanding, lemme clarify I never regret being taught by these highly regarded people, this all has made me the person u know).
It probably started when I was not even two when my Mom somehow came to the conclusion that I should be starting my reading exercise that time. When I barely knew how to speak complete sentences my Mom started her operation " Teach Manvi" and as they tell me...(I don't have that good memory ;)) I started reading the newspapers words letter by letter within six months. Accompanying my grand dad for his long walks was my favorite activity and although he never was reluctant to take me along, this drove my grandma nuts as my granddad used to stretch his morning walks to more than 5 km. Those walks used to be fun. He would tell me about the various shops and buildings that we used to pass by and my job was to read all the hoardings that we came across. Probably that was the best possible reading exercise I could have got.
My sis is 5 years younger to me. And so my formative years were spent without a same aged company in general...there were no kids in my colony and all the company I had was my family and I made the best of it. Mom used to spend all her time with me whenever out of kitchen. To account for the rest of the time, my grandma would tell me the holy religious stories. Those stories are the ones that form the base of all the stories I have heard after that. My grand dad was the one with less patience, he would get me story books rather than reading out the stories for me. Cartoon Network was a strict no-no at my home for the simple reason my Dad never liked it and so were the comics ( that I used to read a lot of them at my neighbor's place without my parents knowing about it is another story).
Coming a few years in fast forward, I remember the fights me, my dad and my grand dad used to have every morning for being the first one to read the newspaper very clearly. Reading stories and newspaper were the daily routines for me, never skipped. For the rest other things my Mom took special care. Summer vacations were not the so cliched " nani ka place" every year. It was a five year plan. Most of my summers were spent at Agra with a lot of distant cousins who used to come to our place just for the sake of the intermittent electric supply they missed at their grandparents place where they had come for vacations. Whatever may be the reason they were the people that made sure that my vacations had a lot of comics and Maggi parties attached to it. Apart from that, my summers also constituted of my grandpa waking me up at 7 to enjoy the cold breeze that was so soothing. Never again after that did I wake up so early...( Ahhh....wish I would still have the will power to get up early and enjoy the natural serenity...for the past few days this was my sleeping time.)
I still vividly remember my vacations in class 4 when I pestered up my granddad for stories and being out of reading material, he ended up buying the complete Mahabharat for me which was like 2500 pages of stories. That was one summers I really dint die out of reading stock and when my dad discovered that the whole summers i haven't been doing anything but reading the two volumes he got extremely furious and hid the 2 books which I could locate only after 2-3 years.
There was another occasion when I went to my nani's place in for summer holidays in class 8 when all the cousins hadn't come and I was as bored as hell....That was when I extracted a battered copy of Mrityunjay in a long forgotten and abandoned book rack.That book made me realise my reading power in the true sense of the word...I read the whole 700 page volume in one go from breakfast to dinner.Also that summer I irritated the local library guy by reading up all his books for my age ppl within 10 days and then asking him for more. ;)
Books had always been my savior time and again. Whether it be the tension of times when I was preparing for the engineering entrance or the times when I used to pacify myself with a M&B post every weekly test, if I did well...that was the way I treated myself. Or the time in engineering when I had nothing to do. Or the vacations or the journeys...Books are the companions who never betray me, the soul-less entities that cheer up my mood whenever I am in a bad one, the ones that take me into a world away from the cold cruel one in reality.
I end up by stating the utopia situation -" Nothing substitutes a good book with a coffee mug in a cold winter afternoon."

JLT

Well...Two things..!!!One, something that I was always proud of was my tolerance limit..I actually used to brag about it and second, the other thing which I always mentioned the same without fail was my inability to express my anger on my dear and near ones as my weakness.
The first has suffered a tremendous jolt of late and the second has been the reason for it. It's said that it always helps to vent out the pent up emotions, the misunderstandings, the good and the bad, the happiness and the hurt, the love and the hatred. But somehow my conscience does not allow me to do so and that adds up to my overflowing inbox of unrest. There have been times when I have been advised by my agony aunts (and uncles;) ) that I should better say the thoughts on the face rather than keeping it inside me and troubling my own-self over it. But what I feel is that it will serve no good. Had the person meant to understand the issues, they would have already done so.
Now what happened now, is that with the change of address I probably lost my best ever soulmates behind; the people who could understand me without me saying a word. The people who I could always leave my tensions on and still relax as to they will manage something or the other. For if it sounds me being too over-dependent and selfish, it was other way round as well. But yes, I wish to make a confession...they wer the only people I think I can trust blindly...my group of 5...!!!
Now how does this relate to the above is that whenever I felt like blurting out or whenever some incident/some person bothered me to the hilt ,I could go to them and behave like a kid...the one thing I loved to and manno always got a saviour...but here when I am sitting in my cozy bed at 3 AM in the morning....(I have found some good friends and yes...I am pretty much settled in IIFT....contrary to my previous statements that I wont ever... :) ),something is missing and that is a void I would never ever be able to fill throughout my life... :(
The best gals gang ever...the masti I will never forget...the endless talks...the gyaan sessions...the debates over small issues...the food we shared...the padhaai...and padhaai ke liye daant....the sleeps and the alarms...the GB night talks and the classes in which we barely learnt anything...I will miss that all...and this is when its been 5 months to the day we met the last...I realised that the five of them were unique in their own way....
Minal...the most girly of us 5..the one who would cry her eyes out when the hero meets heroine in the end of a romantic tragedy, yet when coming to display of displeasure, the maximum no of outbursts came from this lady. A true secretkeeper who would always shout at me for shouting at her...!!!
Namita...the bacchi...who could study day in and day out when exams approached...the one who mistrusted her destiny the most...the one who was always there to check my tap-tap when no one else would notice...the one who being the youngest would advice me like my grandma..
Nidhi...well....my Agony aunt as mentioned above... :D she was the one I would always go to when nothing struck my mind...outta 74% I got in BTech almost 20 belonged to her...the dedicated and focussed gal...the only friend who I love for her strictness and scoldings and would be an inspiration when the time will come to scold my own kids... ;)...also a major contribution is hers when it came to the formation of the Bechaara club....one should see the glint in her eyes when she mentions the tortures her would-be would go through....well but but but....havent seen a kidder than her when interacting with her parents ( dunno if that's a word but that is what came to my mind)
Amrita....well...words will fall short when I come to talk about her...my twin soul...my roomie for first 2 years and for the next 2 as well...the one who surprisingly shared half my habits and could be a kid to me or a grandma...whichever way the situation would demand...she was the one who knew every detail info on me...even abhi bhi...the one I would always trust the most to understand me even if we dont share the views on that matter...the one who would be my Devil's advocate...the one who would know what happend before I could tell...the one who would take liberty to taunt me and tease me and then console me...!
Well...as far as myself is concerned, these 4 have been the most tormented souls by me...they have been the ones to wipe my tears and share my joy...the ones who I would never have to think to turn back for anything ever....We had our best days and the bad ones as well...but one thing I am pretty sure of is that we would all can achieve the sky the day we want to.....these sweetheart would be the ones I believe would be there for me humesha...wherever we are whenever I look for them...!!!

Relations...

“Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.”-Richard Bach
As you might have realized by now that how much do i dwell into the tit-bits of things...how could I have left aside this so very important topic. :) Life begins with a wonderful relation, the one of a mother with her child and proceeds on to make scores of them.Probably by the time we bid our final goodbye to the world, we forget more than half of those who ever mattered so much in our life. The neighborhood kid who was the sole playmate or the guy/girl in the next block who we would have a crush on or that compassionate teacher who would favor us above the rest of our class.How much we remain in touch with the people who meant the world for us at some point of our life is what really matters...!
So easy it is to think that life would be so incomplete and worthless without that person and equally easily we tend to forget that person later down the time lines to the extent that as if the person did not ever exist.
Deep thinking on the same brought me to narrow down on the various underlying causes behind this . One might be that its very tough to let go of people when we part for some reason good or bad but then we tend to reason out ourselves that the person never mattered to us. And probably we start accepting this fable cooked by us...The other reason might be that probably we misjudged the level of importance we gave to that person...When impulsively we gave the person utmost respect and care we could not realize that this might be due to just an emotional phase that's passing by...!
When we say that the person no longer means anything to us...we are either actually leading ourselves in believing that or we were wrong in the initial phase itself when we gave any importance to that person at all....!
In either case what my personal belief is that think twice before a person should be important enough to be missed in life and if u find someone of that kind...u r LUCKY. Don't ever let that person leave you who loves you selflessly and without any expectations in return. Life is only as beautiful as the relations you have around. :)

Maturity and Expectations

Does Age qualify to be a parameter of one's maturity?
On first instance you may say yes,but if you take out a free moment out of the super busy life and ponder over this question then you would also recollect several instances out of the book of your own life which proved that there is no correlation between age and maturity. There are several times which actually lead you to think is this person really grown up enough to be called a particular age. Several cases that we come across in college, workplace, home and all around us. There would be aunties- who would not think twice before spending more than the per capita income of the nation on their one trip to parlour- who would be haggling over the petty sum with the autowallahs...
Another point which may or may not seem interconnected is Expectations. Now the biggest qs is how much should you expect outta other people and the level to which you should go to fulfill their expectations. There are times when you do some stuff for certain kiths and kins and then expect that they would be there for you when time arises.As the wise men has said that "To be happy in any relationship DO NOT EXPECT" be it any relationship.
BUT the problem arises when someone expects something from you and you try your level best to fulfill that expectation and then somewhere in the deep corner of your heart- being the human that we are; start expecting a return of the same. And if and by some ill luck that expectation is left unquenched then it somewhere loosens the bond.Is the person wrong in expecting back, if nothing else just some concern ??
Somewhere the two which are discussed above are related or interlinked...
I leave you with the question of what happens in General, "Does Maturity come with age and willingness to mature? "

Dil Dosti etc.

Now this is something I have been pondering over for the last 2 years of my life...

FRIENDSHIP the unconditional relationship, the perfect Jai Veeru Jodi, the pakki dosti and the likes...does the utopia still exist???

Hey Hey!!! Don’t jump to any conclusions and brand me as a pessimist or a disbeliever in friendship. I am STILL one of you and would love to believe that true unconditional friendship does exist in this Kaliyug as well. It’s a good feeling that someone there still cares about you – someone who won’t judge you on the basis of your venting out or someone who could understand you without being explicitly told...
But there are some situations you will all agree to...a friend whose expectations you could not fulfill OR some friend who misunderstood your intentions. But the worst case is when a friendship takes a route you never wanted it to take, whether on impulse or on a slight push from some external source. The route treaded by only & only one of them- the route called “little more than friendship”. This is the worst phase of friendship where things take a different turn on the way of life altogether. It is difficult for both the people involved, to get back to the same unadulterated friendship and even more difficult to continue. Breaking a bond which was so dear is not that easy, it pains... and pains badly. But there are times when you can’t help it. The best route forward is when you bring things to an end and probably it’s in the best interest of everyone.
The other painful thing is when an ever-since-we-remember friendship undergoes a transformation. The people who could understand each other so well over all these years and whose examples were quoted when mentioning good friendships. And time has led the people to grow up to be different people. Their choices differ drastically and so does their approach to life. The little things that used to be ignored earlier are now the bone of contention. The little imperfections which were the beauty of life are now the thorns that make the path of the kinship tougher. And AGAIN the best is to part ways...probably again in the mutual interest and peace of mind for both the people.
Parting is again painful and it would remain to be. What matters is the way you part...!

About Me.

Well I guess its been long since I ever wanted to own a blog of my own..(actually I did...but the one without any posts...) and now when everyone worth their salt has had enuffffff on the blogspace including the dear Mr. Big B to my next door neighbours, I finally get my blog to life.
To begin with I would pick up the perennial question, About Me.
Ever since I got to make my profile on Orkut this question has been there at the very front of everything. Ohhk... I ignored it on the Orkut and the legendaary FB, but it would never let me let go of it. Then came the interviews in Engineering college...(yess, i AM an Engineer) the question raised it head again like the multi-headed snake mentioned in the mythology. Somehow and due to my ICSE-playing-with-words skill I could manage with a okayish one. (Well, I got the job, in case you are free and faaltu enough to be still wondering about it.)
But GOD.....I found myself face to face with the much dreaded question again. The MBA interviews...! "hey, tell me something about yourselves"- the usual favourite starter.
There was no way that my esteemed faculty at the premier MBA entrance coaching institute would have let me ruin their results by spoiling this question. So here arrived the strategy what to and what not to speak/write in your " about me". ( Well , I thought this was supposed to be about me :O ). So I was busy finding the points and headings and sub-headings which I should have spoken about in the interview.
Well..it is another story that I ended up speaking the same idiotic okayish stuff about Myself in both my interviews and still manage to convert both. ( Guess it wasn't that lame ;) )
Coming on to my serious thoughts and the unending philo...
"How much is too much? " the first thought that crawls into my mind when I see this about me section in the social networking sites. Does anyone really care. YES, you can have a really impressive "about me" and manage to attract some attention (one-in-a-thousand chance). But the lack of one never would be noticed. Most of the people wont even care to give a second look beyond the headings (and your photo...esp when its a chick's profile ;) ). If its a stranger then you might write anything and wouldn't matter....you can be the third cousin of SRK or the next Bill Gates (its all up there in your imagination :P). If it is someone who knows you, do you actually think your about me will matter a single tiny winy bit.
So People.... stop thinking about the about me...no one actually cares...!!!!